the end to a stressfull day.

Incoming rant/thingy:

Yesterday at the splint fitting, Largent had mentioned not doing the genioplasty after all, I was relieved a little bit, because instead of a bigger chin, all I wanted was just a little more definition in my neck. He mentioned how I had a little excess tissue & fat in my neck and that they remove that "All the time" ("We do this all the time" is like their motto)
I was really happy, and my hopes were really high for a moment before they came back down.
"We'll just do the top jaw and if we decide to do the genioplasty or any kind of lipo, we can always do that another time"
Well. I feel very anxious that this is the only chance I'll ever get to get this right. Hospital stays and operating room cost a LOT. Almost as much as the surgery itself, so the chances that I can go back for anything is like, non-exsistant.

So, my mom says to call them and see if I can consult with them a little one more time.
Instead of sawing bone and moving my chin forward, I would be more satisfied keeping the chin I have, but with the extra tissue removed, I think it would give the illusion of a more defined jaw/neck line. Now, that isn't covered by insurance, but I'd be much more secure with it than different chin. If the cost is ridiculous than it won't happen, but if it costs as much as the genioplasty covered or cheaper, then I would like to go forward with it.


In OTHER news. The underside of my tongue feels a LOT better. Last night hurt like crazy, and it felt swollen, but after I woke up the next morning, it felt fine. It only hurts a little if I move my tongue to the other side of my mouth to try to pry food out my my braces or something, but otherwise, I'm good!
I made a mini-lasagna tonight. Yummy yummy! Mom would be proud (she makes the best lasagna)

Splint Fitting Day

Well, today was splint fitting day! I walked in to the office and was quickly seen by Dr. Largent, and he showed me were my teeth were going to be, but before he could fit the splint, he had to file down some of my teeth so that they would fit together properly after surgery. No biggie.

...right?

Well, other than a little bit of sensitivity here and there, and the smell of teeth smoke, it didn't hurt. That is, until he accidentally slipped at the very end and cut into the soft veiny underside of my tongue.

Then the floodgates opened.

Although I only let a couple tears pass in the office, I went to the restroom afterward and saw my mouth filled with blood. And burst out in tears. Like, not only blood was spilling from the cut in my mouth, but so were anxiety, fear, sadness, overwhelming grief. I was embarrassed that I was so upset, but it caught me off guard, and that hurt more than the pain.

I went to get a sonic slush afterward (Route 44 Lemon, no peel is my signature order) since it was happy hour (half off drinks). My mom must be psychic, because when I told her over the phone she said:
"Well, you should go to Sonic and get a slushie"
*sluuuurrrrrpp*
"Oh, haha, good you got one!"

But maybe when I was talking to her over the phone some of the anxiety spirits flew through the lines and got her, because I know this whole thing isn't easy for her ether. I love you, mo-mo, don't be sad :(

My fear

It's not the jaw surgery I'm most afraid of....

It's the chin.

At the consultation (yes, I've still got jitters from the last consultation) there was a little confusion toward the future of my chin. It's still pending whether they will do anything with my chin or not, and it's been "maybe", "we will bring it forward", "we will move it back". My poor heart, I don't think I can take it. It's less than two weeks before surgery, I don't want the chin thing to be decided to day of, the day before, or during surgery. I don't want to wake up with a chin I wasn't prepared for!
It's like the surgical hooks "more is good, but if not we'll get by" no, no, no... I just want a "YES genioplasy is necessary for an even appearance" or "NO it is not and you don't need it". No gray area, just a black or white answer.

jittery jittery jitters... aaaahh!! :P

Jaw Surgery Dreams

Last night I had a dream that I just had my jaw surgery.
My chin was huge and deformed, and mouth was "wired" (aka banded) shut. For some reason I kept trying to open my mouth, or my teeth would come off the splint and wouldn't go back on it. All this time I kept thinking "Why do I keep trying to open my mouth!? Stop moving it!" Everything felt so tight and uncomfortable.

Even after I woke up my jaw was stiff and sore. *shiver*

It was such a weird dream.
(By the way, the picture on the right is a jaw bone dream catcher. I figured it was completely appropriate for today's post.)

So, my blogger buddies, have you had any dreams about braces, jaw surgery, or any upcoming event, for that matter, that went awry?