In the afternoon, we went downtown to the Rivercenter Mall, at first I was kind of anxious because of the crowds from tourism, and also that little thing we call TAX FREE CRAZINESS WEEKEND. The mall was crowded, but it wasn't too bad, actually, for what I was expecting. I was still on the look out for flying elbows, and nervously guarding my face from any freak-attacks.
We walked, a lot, but it was worth it. After looking around the mall for a couple hours, we went down to the Market. Diedre loves Mi Tierra bakery, and must stock up on candied orange peel and pumpkin empanadas whenever she gets the chance. They had some pecan brittle that made my mouth water. Curse this healing jaw!! Also, back out in the market, street vendors selling food that filled the air. Ah, what I would give to be able to chomp into a bean and cheese tostada.
After walking around in the brutal Texas heat for several hours, I was beat. When I came home I went into some kind of sluggish coma. My jaw hurt, my feet hurt, my head hurt. I was so hungry, no food, too tired to go to the store. But it was worth it.
The only thing that kinda concerned me was that Diedre kept saying "You look so different" "I won't be able to recognize you". Diedre would never say anything the intentionally hurt my feelings, but it gave me a strange feeling. I know I look different, but I still think I look like me... I don't think I look SO different. It's just strange to hear it from someone so close to you. I just wonder, like, what do people really think? Is my face not me anymore?
I'm not completely happy with the way my face looks right now, but I still feel a lot of swelling, so I know that I need to be patient to see the final result. I feel like I'm in an awkward stage at the moment. I'm just eager to see the swelling to continue to go down, excited for the day when the braces come off, what my final look will be... and if the final look is still Kelley.
And the recovery pic for today:
My skin is still pretty shiny from all the swelling. How strange.
5 comments:
KAM, can you post at few more before photos. I would like to compare more. With the photos that you have posted I think you already look better. You look younger due to the swelling but you look normal. I hope you are not offended with me using the word "normal" but with that underbite that we have I don't feel normal.
What were your expectations?
I think that you have increase your looks at least 20% and when the swelling goes down it will be more. I just hope that I have the marked improvements that you have had.
I also want to add that I had a best friend that also had jaw surgery in highschool. I never judged her on how she looked because she was my friend. After her surgery I was really shocked. I probably said the same things as your friend said to you.
Any change really scare people and the often say things due to this fear. My best friend looked totally different and I wondered if she was going to be the same person. (Ofcourse she was!) I felt strange being around her because she did not look like my best friend. In time I realised that it was still her and it did not change things between us. Only one thing... She became alot more confident. Good for her!
Kam,
I had not been out with a large crowd of people who know me until today. I went to church for the first time since surgery. All I kept hearing was "You look so different." " I can't believe how different you look." I tried not to have it both me, but it did. I feel like you do. I'm not sure I like the way I look now. I know I still have swelling, but I want to see the final product. I guess we just have to get used to what we see in the mirror and take the "you look different" comments as compliments. I think you look great after the surgery.
My two cents..
'I won't be able to recognize you' is not a statement about you, it's a statement about her and having to deal with a friend looking good, better than before.Although she'll probably be happy for you as a friend, as another woman it's hard to handle. I've definitely felt that from my own girl friends, even though they might not be aware of it; a subconscious element of rivalry, lways there underneath the surface. We want the best for your friends, but we don't want them to look better than we do, right? ;-)
My mum had the same surgery 2 years ago and her changes were met with hostility - different generation, too, which was worse.
You're going to look great.
mylene
I came across your blog from the clockwork story book website, and it's a fascinating read (better than most stuff on the clockwork forum, really).
Get well soon and try to smile inside if smiling on the outside hurts too much.
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