Whoo!

I just had my second appointment with Dr. Leibold today. He says things looked great!
The bruising has gotten a little worse, but the pain is mostly gone. My neck is just sore, and it's uncomfortable to move my lower face/lips. (I get these weird little sharp pains.)
I no longer have to wear my mummy/nun bandages during the day, just in the evening and when I sleep.
So far, I'm really happy with the way things look! I'm excited to see how things will look in a couple weeks from now!

Here's my before surgery/ 1 week after surgery pic:

Feeling a little better!

Day 1 -3 I felt pretty miserable. I have to wear my "the mummy returns" bandages for about 2 weeks post-surgery (week 1 24/7, week 2 12/7)
That's my day one "What did I just get myself into?" face.

Day 1 & 2 there was a huge amount of pain, everything hurt, my head and neck, and body. Then I got sick and nauseous off of the vicodin. I was not a happy camper. Day 2 I saw Dr. Leibold, he said things looked good and I have an appointment for next week, so I'm eager to see how I am in the next couple of weeks.

Day 3 was a little better, ibuprofen was fine to use. It still hurt a LOT to swallow, or move, or to do much of anything, so I just sat around all day watching tv.

It's now day 4 after surgery, and I'm feeling much better, but still in a large amount of pain. Mostly it's due to my not being able to move and stretch my neck, so there's a lot of tension pain in my neck and back. Swallowing isn't brutally painfull anymore, but it's still very uncomfortable.

Occasionally when I move my face, or something, I get theses sharp pains in my neck, like the muscles hurt, or there's an invisible string being pulled on from the inside of my skin. Also, it feels like I kind of have a bad sunburn.

I really hope all the money and pain will be worth it for the final result. Here was my before surgery/day 1 after surgery pictures. You can't see a huge difference, since I am still pretty swollen and I can't extend my neck comfortably, but it gives you a little idea.

PAIN!

I had my "Lipo-sculpture" today. I had NO idea how much pain I'd be in. It feels like I'm constantly being punched and stabbed in the neck.
I woke up from the anesthesia and the back of my hair was covered in blood.

I thought the most painful thing would have been the price tag. ;) but this, surprisingly, is more painful than the pain I experienced with jaw surgery, and even getting my wisdom teeth removed.

I hope the pain doesn't last long. I'll provide lots of pictures later when I can, but for now, just about everything I do hurts to do so I'm off to go back to bed.

A question for those who have had upper jaw surgery (Lefort 1)

I am at 13 weeks today. These are the "problems" I'm still having and I want to know if these are similar to anyone else who has had upper jaw advancement. Theses are things I haven't heard discussed much, so I hope I'm not alone.

- The roof of my mouth is still sensitive. If I put pressure on it (with my tounge or something) It feels almost like there is a soft spot it kind of feels "ticklish" and it makes the inside of my nostril feel itchy.

- The muscles in my mid face are still twitchy. When I try to wrinkle my nose it spasms and feels uncomfortable.

- I don't think my incision has fully healed yet. it feels fine on the sides, but the area in the front of my mouth looks a little.. strange. I'm not sure if it's normal, or there just wasn't the best job done on my stitches, but here's a picture to describe what I mean. Only in the front, it looks like there are little pockets or something. It also feels irritated when the doctors slide their finger around it (like it gets in and slices across the "pockets")


-Also as far as everthing goes, the right side of my face is SOO much better than the left. Everything is less swollen, but even stranger, I can eat better on that side, whereas on the left, it still feels strange to eat on that side at all.

That's all!! (for now, haha) Pleaase share any insight on how your healing was at 13 weeks. Thanks guys!

Mo-Mo Weekend 2

It's another Mo-Mo weekend! It is great to see my mom again since surgery! She came to town Friday afternoon and we went to dinner at La Madeline. I figured it would be a good place to go, since I can eat soup and pasta like a pro now. And I actually managed to eat the tomato & cheese croissant pretty easily! My momma' and sister where patient as I made my way through the meal. And it was just so great to enjoy dinner, have great conversation, and a lot of laughs. :)

On Saturday we were "out and about" the whole day! We went to a tile company so my sister could get some samples for her Interior Design project. I wanted to go to the opening of the new Jo-Ann Fabrics store. We got a cute metal pumpkin sign to hang on my front door, and some other Halloween decor (they were insanely well priced) and I stocked up on hotglue sticks (which, it sounds funny that I would be so excited over that, but I got 40 HUGE sticks for only $2, which would probably cost me $14 normal priced.) Yeah, I use a lot of hot glue in my projects, so I was stoked. My mom thinks I must be the easiest person to please.

We went to the mall so I could pick up a pair of pants I had purchased earlier, and then we went to Gringo's for dinner. I saw James, a waiter that me and my sister are really familiar with and he didn't even think it was me at first. He said he couldn't be sure when he saw me, but came over because he recognized my sister. He said Stina and I used to look exactly alike and now we look totally different from each other.
This is similar to another experience I had at my orthodontist. Even though I don't think my sister an I look exactly alike, everyone always thinks we're twins. When we went to schedule another appointment one day, one of the ladies there said "Oh, you want to schedule ppointments at the same time- are y'all really good friends or something?"
"We're sisters."
"Oh really?"
(then the other lady comes up from behind us who has only seen me before surgery)
"Oh they're twins!"
"No, haha, we're just sisters"

it just makes me kind of anxious of how different I really look. I see me when I look in the mirror, but the moment I smile or if I see myself from far away I don't really see me.
I worry about what is actual change and what is just swelling or lack of movement in my mid face.

Bah! I'm ranting again.

Anyway, the weekend was great regardless, and I miss my mom already! She's so enjoyable to have around. :)

11 Weeks

I can't believe it's been 11 weeks since surgery!

So far- Eating soft foods easily.
Still weird to yawn. It is very tight and uncomfortable.
When I wrinkle my nose it spasms and is uncomfortable.
Area in the cheeks and around the nose and the nose is still swollen.
Skin is still rebellious and oily since surgery.
I still have a slight over-bite. I kind of figured it would have moved back a little by now like they said it would. hmm.

A couple days ago, I had a Chinderella moment. It looked like the mid-line in my upper jaw was going slightly to the left. When I put a ruler down the center of my nose and upper lip, it looked as it it had shifted 1-2mm to the left. After I went to the Orthodontist this tuesday, I asked him and he gave me a single diagonal band, and the problem has completely dissapeared, so that's good.
I get my (hopefully last) wire in two weeks. I'm excited being done with braces. Hopefully they will be off by Christmas!

I finally saw Dr. Largent (the resident who performed my surgery) today! It was the first time he had seen me since surgery. I was really surprised to see him, so it was nice. Unfortunately, Leibold wasn't there, nor were the digital projections that I was hoping to see. I was under the impression that was the only real reason I was going in, but it's ok because seeing Dr. Largent was worth it. He said he was very happy with my result, and the my surgery went as good as it gets.
I asked him about this "soft spot" on the left side roof of my mouth that I feel sometimes while drinking out of a straw or when I swallow certain foods when it presses against the roof of my mouth. It comes and goes so I really hadn't thought to ask about it until now. He looked at me a little puzzled. He response was mostly "huh. that's weird." and that was the end of it! So, I guess it's nothing too serious. Have any of you ortho-bloggers experienced this phantom soft spot?

I think it's funny when the doctors ask if I'm happy with my result.. like.. how do I respond to that? I usually respond with a positive and reassuring "Yeah! I love it!" but I'm kinda thinking ".. after my weird nose goes back to normal, my face is no longer puffy, and I regain motion in my mid-face... THEN we'll see if I'm happy."

Here's today's recovery pic:


And be sure to wish Holly a safe and smooth procedure, because she's getting her second jaw surgery tomorrow! Good luck Holly! Second times a charm!

No Regrets

I saw the OS today. It had been a while since he went on vacation. I accomplished a lot while he was away, though! :D

First, I went to the dentist! I was anxious due to my tender incision area, but the people at my dentist office are amazing, and it was a gentle cleaning. And I finally had those nasty peridex stains removed!
I asked if they had any pictures or x-rays of me before braces, and if they wouldn't mind emailing them to me. So, vola, I've updated the pre-surgery photos gallery. Now, I haven't been in braces long, just over a year, but I guess I forgot what my teeth looked like. That being said, I don't have any regrets about this whole crazy process. If I had the option of going back, I would do it over again. I'm only a little impatient about the healing, since my face is still very tight feeling and my nose is just doing weird things. Like... one notril is bigger than the other, the tip, and sometimes it looks lopsided. so.. I'm a bit eager to *hopefully* see it go back to the way it was, I've got no clue what it is doing at the moment.

On a semi-related topic, sharing pictures in my gallery is an interesting thing. I'm never been a teeth-smiler and I was never happy with the way my teeth looked, I'd love to get them whitened after braces, and I had that whole underbite thing going for me.. So, normally, I would never share those kinds of pictures with anyone, but for some reason, blogging to you guys, I feel very safe and connected. And to all the orthobloggers- I think you are some of the bravest people to share your journeys with us.

Back to today's adventure at the OS: We took my first batch of post-surgery x-rays. It's really neat to see the difference of the position of the jaws, also, the new hardware. It's sooo.. !! A mix between weird, cool, scifi, neat, crazy, and wow.


We also spoke about the chin/neck thing. I told him I wasn't really interested in the chin implant, but was interested in the lipo. I asked if they had computer imaging, so that maybe I could see for myself before things are concrete. Leibold said they didn't have it at the school, but he had it at his own practice and he would input the information here, and share the results with me the next time I come in.

Speaking to my parents about this is upsetting. I feel like, by wanting this, I'm vain or frivolous and this is something completely unnecessary. Plus, the cost, $860 is a lot of money. I don't expect her to pay for it. I've never spent that much on anything in my life, I'm an avid saver, and to spend so much on something like that makes me feel like it could go to better use. My dad says I should wait until I get a job- which makes no sense to me "Oh, hi, I just started work. I need to take a week off so I can get some crap sucked out of my neck, k, thanks." I've got time to heal right now, this is really my only chance to get this done if I'm going to before I enter into a career.
Speaking to my mom is a little frustrating, I don't think the doctors would call me a good candidate if it was unnecessary. I don't think my neck is fat, I just want a little definition. And I don't think it's unreasonable. And I think that is better than having an implant or having bone cut. I feel so torn up about it, I don't know what to do.

That is about all for now, thanks for listening to my rants and raves! Here's today's recovery pic. (can you tell by all the pictures that I have a favorite shirt? hehe)

8 Weeks

I finally got my hair cut today. Long over due. And took my side by sides with the good ol' moon star background.

I think the pictures tend to look much better than what I look like in "real life". Then again, I don't have to smile, and when I smile I look like a weird weird thing. I'm happy with my new profile, just frustrated with the tip of my nose. Also, the mechanics of my face are still down.
I can't wrinkle my nose without it being uncomfortable and spasm-y. My top lip doesn't like to participate in the smiling much. Still swollen. I've been feeling a little sore lately. And I've been yawning more than I can stand. Each involuntary huge yawn is torture.

That's about it for now. I'm completely exhausted today from lack of sleep, so when I get the chance, I will make a real post! :)

Back On Track

Today I saw my orthodontist for the first time post-surg and got all my surgical hooks taken off and two power bands put on all my teeth top & bottom. He was supposed to put the hooks that I'm still using for night time bands back on, but he forgot. So, I'm gonna call my Oral Surgeon and ask if I should go back, or not worry about it. I also asked him when I can go to the dentist and get my teeth cleaned, because I've got rreally embarrasing stains from the Peridex mouth wash, and I'm eager to get them cleaned off. Maybe he was bored, or just sympathetic, but he filed off some of the stain, my teeth look a lot better just with a little bit removed. It made me a little nervous, but I'm just protective of my enamel. I love my soda, so I don't need any help taking enamel off, thanks. ;P My teeth are HURTING!

I drove past dentist on my way home, so I decided to just drop by and make my appointment. I see them Thursday.

Well, it's almost week 7! I've been "chewing" for almost a week, now. I'm very gentle, but excited about my new chewing ability. The mechanics of my face are a little discouraging. My top lip is so tight and doesn't really move when I smile, my open mouth smile looks weird. Like Cindy Lou Who or something.
My face is still swollen. I'm just wondering when will this go awaay.
I still have the "overbite" now. I'm kinda wondering when my top jaw will "move back a little" like the surgeons said it would.
And my nose. Ugh. My dad, for some werid reason, LOVES it. I have the opposite feelings. it's puffy, and gets really wide whenever I smile, especially when I smile "open mouth". I'm kinda hoping it well go back to normal once my face deflates and loosens up. I just wish I had a timeline when I know all this would be done with.

And today's recovery pic:

Freedom!! .... sorta

Whewt! I had a great OS appointment today. As soon as I saw Dr. Leibold I told him that I had a list of questions, and we went through them together. It was awesome.

First, I asked him about post-surgery x-rays. I haven't had any yet and was curious as to how things looked under all the skin and muscle of my face. He said it would no problem to take some. The x-ray lab had just closed, so I'll have to wait until I go in next, but that's fine with me!

I asked him about the bands- and great news! No more bands for me! Well, at least during the day. He said he'd like me to wear them at night, but, again, that's no problem for me. I'm SO relieved to not have to wear the bands anymore, the pressure they were putting on my braces were really irritating the teeth near the hooks.

I asked him about my tooth discoloration due to the peridex mouthwash. He expressed his hatred toward the stuff, but assured me that it can be removed when I go in for a dental cleaning. The only thing is, because of the braces, the teeth are harder to clean, so I might not be able to get all of the stain off until I'm free of braces. For now, I'm pretty embarrassed of my new grey smile. I told my mom I'd smile in a photo once my upper lip is no longer stiff and swollen and once my teeth have been cleaned.

On that note, I asked him when would be a good time to schedule orthodontist and dentist appointments. He said I could see my orthodontist at anytime now, but it's up to me & my ortho when a good time to see the dentist is. I think I will wait until my incision area is completely healed up and back to normal before I go in for a cleaning, since I don't want to irritate it, but I'm excited to see my orthodontist! I want to know when these things are a' comin' off!

I asked him about facial exercises or anything that I should be doing. He didn't seem concerned at all and said those things don't make much difference or something. I don't know, I might make funny faces anyway.

I also asked him about my diet- when I could move on to soft foods (hey, might as well double check) and when my jaw would be completely healed that I could be a nut-cracker. He said at the six-weeks mark I could chew soft foods. And in a year I'll be all set for everything else. So, in just a week and a half I can start getting frustrated trying to chew all the things I want to eat and fail horribly! Then resign back to my life of oatmeal and soup. I want to bite into a subway sandwich soo bad. And pizza! And fried mozzarella sticks! Ohhh I'm so hungry now.

Then I asked him when we should schedule the neck lipo. He said anytime is fine, he's leaving for a few weeks, so after Septmenber 24th we can get the ball moving. He then took another look at me and said "hmm.. I think you'd benefit a lot from a small chin implant."

oh noo! Not that darn chin thing again!

He said the chin implant would be small and combined with the neck lipo it would give me a lot of facial balance and that it would be something to think about. Uuuhh.. I don't know. I think my chin looks fine, but then again, I don't really know what it would look like "better". The lipo is something I really want, and the anesthesia is a flat fee of $260. So, if I'm getting it done and it would be wise to get them done together. Since I don't want to shell out more money for a second procedure anesth. fee & have to go back for another procedure.

Also. Lipo costs $600, the Chin Implant would cost $1070 (then the $260 anesth. fee). So $860 vs. $1930. The HUGE COST difference doesn't help the fact that I'm not sold on the more chin thing. Plus, we're completely broke. I'm not sure where I'd even get the money the lipo, let alone for both. So, I'm torn, because I really want to listen and agree and do everything the doctor thinks is best, because I respect his judgments. He's only been doing this kinda thing for like.. 35 years.. I'm pretty sure he knows what he's talking about. I have a lot to think about. And some money to start raising. *sigh*

Here's today's recovery pic:

Identity

I think the last part of my last post was a little mis-understood, so I edited it a little to rephrase it.

The only thing that kinda concerned me was that Diedre kept saying "You look so different", "I won't be able to recognize you". Diedre would never say anything to intentionally hurt my feelings, but it gave me a strange feeling. I know I look different, but I still think I look like me... I don't think I look SO different. It's just strange to hear it from someone so close to you. I just wonder, like, what do people really think? Is my face not me anymore?

I'm not completely happy with the way my face looks right now, but I still feel a lot of swelling, so I know that I need to be patient to see the final result. I feel like I'm in an awkward stage at the moment. I'm just eager to see the swelling to continue to go down, excited for the day when the braces come off, what my final look will be... and if the final look is still Kelley.

I think my mom and others were under the impression that what my friend said had upset me. I wasn't upset at all. Or she felt strange around me. What I meant to convey was my concern of identity, which is today's topic. [I might not make a lot of sense, but try and follow this weird little tangent of mine...]

My concern has nothing to do with looking better than I was before, or looking worse. It's about looking the same vs. looking like a different person. I was never that unhappy with the way I looked before surgery and braces, my teeth weren't that crooked (due to the position of my bottom teeth, I didn't have an under bite until braces. I had a "bite"), and I had a "flat" profile, but I wasn't ever that down about it. After braces, I wasn't that confident in the way I smiled, but I knew that would change. I knew I'd have to look worse, before looking better.

My concern is to hear "so different". I knew I'd look a little different. However, I think I still look like Kelley, a little puffy faced and with a different profile, but still Kelley. What worries me is that others won't recognize me the same way. After I completely heal up, I was thinking of cutting my hair, since I've had the same style since Jr.high school. However, in a way, my hair has become even more recognizable than my face. If both change... does Kelley completely disappear? (It's kinda funny I mention my hair, because it's the longest it's been in a while right now. It's drivin' me nuts.)

I think no matter what, I'll be just as satisfied with my post-surgery look as I was with my pre-surgery look. I'll know I'm me, no matter what. I just don't know what to think, or how to react, or how to feel when I hear those two words..

"so different."

... because I don't see it?

Here's today's recovery pic:

I hope I made a little sense in my ramble tonight.

What a day!

Today was by-far the most exhausting day I've had during recovery, but definitely the most fun. One of my best friends, Diedre, was visiting her grandma along with another friend from high school, Kathryn, and her cousin, here in San Antonio. I hadn't seen Diedre since last Christmas, so of course I'd take up the opportunity to see her while she was in the area!
In the afternoon, we went downtown to the Rivercenter Mall, at first I was kind of anxious because of the crowds from tourism, and also that little thing we call TAX FREE CRAZINESS WEEKEND. The mall was crowded, but it wasn't too bad, actually, for what I was expecting. I was still on the look out for flying elbows, and nervously guarding my face from any freak-attacks.
We walked, a lot, but it was worth it. After looking around the mall for a couple hours, we went down to the Market. Diedre loves Mi Tierra bakery, and must stock up on candied orange peel and pumpkin empanadas whenever she gets the chance. They had some pecan brittle that made my mouth water. Curse this healing jaw!! Also, back out in the market, street vendors selling food that filled the air. Ah, what I would give to be able to chomp into a bean and cheese tostada.

After walking around in the brutal Texas heat for several hours, I was beat. When I came home I went into some kind of sluggish coma. My jaw hurt, my feet hurt, my head hurt. I was so hungry, no food, too tired to go to the store. But it was worth it.

The only thing that kinda concerned me was that Diedre kept saying "You look so different" "I won't be able to recognize you". Diedre would never say anything the intentionally hurt my feelings, but it gave me a strange feeling. I know I look different, but I still think I look like me... I don't think I look SO different. It's just strange to hear it from someone so close to you. I just wonder, like, what do people really think? Is my face not me anymore?

I'm not completely happy with the way my face looks right now, but I still feel a lot of swelling, so I know that I need to be patient to see the final result. I feel like I'm in an awkward stage at the moment. I'm just eager to see the swelling to continue to go down, excited for the day when the braces come off, what my final look will be... and if the final look is still Kelley.

And the recovery pic for today:


My skin is still pretty shiny from all the swelling. How strange.

Going Somewhere.... Slowly

I saw my OS again today.

For about 2 seconds.

Grrr! I hate the effect that has on my nerves!! I have an appointment at 3:30, I get there at 3:20, I'm SEEN at 4:15. And Leibold doesn't even see me for more than 1 minute!! I had questions to ask him, but he disappeared pretty quickly after looking a me. (Run! Doctor! Run!)

I didn't have any expectations for my visit today, but when you wait so long only to feel neglected and ignored, it really shatters my nerves!
The resident, Dr. Balachandran, who looked at me seemed very nice. I've seen her around the department, but I wasn't aware she was familiar with me. Unfortunately, after the greeting, she had to feel across my tender incision area. Oooucch!

Sigh.. My next appointment is in two weeks, I just hope they go by quickly. I want to have a better appointment next time. One where I leave feeling good, inspired, and happy. Not neglected, confused, and anxious.

And here's today's recovery picture:

Two Weeks

It's hard to believe it's been two weeks since surgery. It feels like it's been a sloooow two weeks, but I'm just grateful that those two weeks are behind me. Things can only get better at this point, or so I hope!

I decided to go ahead and call my OS office and schedule an appointment for next week. It's something that will just give me peace of mind, and if they want to reschedule the next one to two weeks after, that's fine with me. I just need something like these appointments to look forward to after surgery, otherwise I feel so restless, watch the clock constantly, wishing I had a time machine to travel a couple weeks forward in time. I also feel in the dark about my recovery, I need to hear things are doing well, at least for these first couple of weeks.
I also asked them to forward a question to Leibold for me. I have an existing appointment to see my orthodontist on the 12th to be retied (re-ligged). I think this is too soon to have pressure on my teeth, and I wanted to know when I should reschedule the appointment, or if I should just cancel it and reschedule when I get the "OK". He hasn't gotten back to me yet, so I might just cancel it anyway, for now. Then just reschedule whenever.

That's all I have to report for now, here's today's recovery pic:

Blah...

I had my second post-op appointment today.
I was pretty disappointed when I left. I had built up all these hopes in my head like getting looser bands, no bands for a certain amount of time a day, no bands at all. However, nothing changed. It was just "things are looking good" and I need to keep the bands on as often as possible. And I might be able to move to soft foods in 6 weeks. what?! That's not cool.
And then it was just "see you in two weeks". Which... guh.. I don't know. I really don't want to wait two weeks, and I think I'd be more comfortable being seen weekly, at least for the first couple of weeks. To keep bands on 24/7 for 2 more weeks doesn't make me too happy.

...yeah....

I don't want to seem high maintenance, but I think I will call the appointment scheduler and ask if I can come in next week, too. It's something that would make me feel more comfortable. And right now I'm a little down in the dumps.

By the way, our new friend, Lotti, is having surgery tomorrow. Let's all wish her a safe surgery and a smooth recovery!!

Here's today's recovery pic. Not much change:

Waiting

sigh..

It feels like time is moving by slower than ever. I'm really looking forward to Tuesday, my next post-op visit, because I'm eager to know my progress. It's like each day is lived hour by hour, waiting for the next moment to take my antibiotic, then shuffle around the house for the next six hours waiting to take it next. Today's my last day for my pink lil' pal. I can't say I'll miss it. ;)

As I mentioned in earlier posts, my upper lip has been hurting; and today, out of curiosity, I decided to take a look. Well, the other areas of the incision look fine, I guess, but the spot where the knot is, the spot that hurts, had a little patch of white on it. It shocked me at first, because I thought I was doing a really good job at keeping my mouth clean, and it looked like plaque or puss or something. I really hope it isn't an infection, because I REALLY don't want the doctors to have to re-open my wound, like Melissa had to deal with. So, I tried cleaning that area specifically, with q-tips dipped in salt water, swishing with saltwater, later I tried swishing that area only with the Prescription mouthwash and it's STILL THERE! All it lead to was making the already sore area hurt more. UGH I wish that darn spot would heal already, and I'd feel so much better.

Anyway...

Today, I decided to go and walk around somewhere, and my sister wanted to go to a bookstore, so I was just like "let's go". So, we get there, and almost 2 minutes of being inside, hell breaks loose. A mentally challenged man, I believe, ran into another guy. This guy PUNCHES the mentally challenged guy in the face. I'm right behind the guy who punched him, and this dude starts screaming and yelling and starts walking backward. I haul my ass out of there. I do not need to be punched in the face 'cuz I'm in some crazy man's way. Then the police are called and things settle down. The rest of the outing, I was paranoid of being elbowed in the face, or hit in the face, or injuring my fragile jaw in any way.
Then I decided, let's go do some real walking, just not standing around people in a cramped spot. All the arms reaching for books and punching faces was making me nervious. So, we go to the grocery store and it felt pretty good to walk down the aisles for the first time postsurg and it was nice pushing the cart. I got a couple things to celebrate once I graduate to soft-foods- like cheese broccoli rice & box mac & cheese. This is what I'm hoping for on Tuesday, the "OK" to chew. At least a little, because I feel ready. But I'm not doing anything different until I get the doc' permission.

Here's today's recovery pic, kinda meh today:

Week and a Day

Today has been good.

I woke up a little early than I wanted, with a major headache. I think caused from all the tension of my bands. So, I took my antibiotic. And since I can't stand that codine stuff, and I have magic pill swallowing powers (once I get them past the teeth/band blockade, that is) I took two ibuprofen.
Breakfast was and a pretty much a kinda-failed attempt at a summer squash, zuchinni, onion, and spinach soup/thing. They're some of my favorite veggies, and I love them cooked together, so I figured, add vegetable broth and blend. Meh. It was pretty bland, and hard to eat without syringe aid. However, I separated it in little batches, tried one with a little soy sauce added, tried some with a little mayo added. I ate a lot of it, but I was just tooo tired and full to experiment anymore. So sad. I had such high expectations for it, I just don't know where I went wrong.
On the subject of eating, I'm still having trouble swallowing, like now, whenever I swallow it feels like what ever I swallow is going to come out my nose or something. It doesn't, but it feels like it will. I'm thinking because there's still not a lot of space in my mouth.. I dunno. it's weird.

Anyway, after that it was shower time. I've been trying to take a lot of showers, somehow hoping that some of the swelling will leave my face via steam osmosis or something. And this was the first REAL shower I took since surgery. I say real shower as in, i was the first one I took that I even dared to use my face scrub, I didn't have to sit down, and I didn't have to be so careful washing my hair. (The only thing I'm having trouble with right now is comfortably tilting my head back. My neck isn't stiff or anything, it's just tight around my face and kinda uncomfortable moving my head around.)

I think I'm looking pretty normal now. My nose is still a little swollen and kinda like a fake rubber nose. The right side of my face is looking pretty good, still a little swollen, but the bruises aren't very noticeable on that side. The left is more swollen than the right, and the bruises are still pretty noticeable. Weird how the healing works.
I'm really excited to see where I'll be on the 5th, that's my next OS appointment. I'm eager to share with my doctors the progress.

Ugh and Ouch

I've been having a lot of upper-lip pain, especially at the incision area.

Last night a series of involuntary big yawns stretched my limits and might have led to my a nosebleed later during my nap on the couch. Unfortunately, I'm a very smiley person, too, and I just can't help it! But smiling hurts!

Panic-Kelley keeps fearing I maybe doing damage to my stitches, it's not the smiling I'm most concerned about (even though it hurts), but it's the those involuntary yawns you can't help are so frustrating!!
So, anyway, when I was cleaning my teeth today I saw some of the stitches hanging down and it freaked me out! Also, I think I have a cavity now. UGH. What's the point of getting my teeth all moved if they're all gonna fall out?? I'm trying to keep them as clean as I can.

Oh little mouth of mine heal up nice and normal! Pleaasee!
Meanwhile, I'll try to keep Panic-Kelley at bay.

It's 12am, which technically makes this my one-week post op! weeooh! *confetti*

Here's today's recovery pic:

Turn-Around

My family just went home today. Aw, I miss my mo-mo already.
I was tempted to go home with them, but I have my next appointment in a week, so, it would probably be too much effort back and forth.

The last couple of days have been hard. I think the worst part, rather than the obvious pain and swelling of my face, was all the stomach issues I had. First, while in the hospital, I threw up blood about 3 times. But after coming home, the problems swallowing made me gag on everything, the medicine made me sick to my stomach, and I had horrible heart burn. I couldn't lay down without feeling sick, sit without being sick, anything.

Well, today has been the best day, so far, after surgery. Day 5 Post-Op! This morning I woke up around 4, am couldn't fall back to sleep. So, I decided to take a nice long shower and prepare for the appointment this morning. The appointment went well, and Dr. Leibold said I was looking well. Then send me home with a pack of tighter rubber bands and said "see ya in a week!"

My meals today included a slush of blended ice, strawberries, and pomegranate leomande, Then for lunch, I tried my best to swallow some La Madeline's Tomato Basil Soup. I think my taste buds are a little dull right now, too, because nothing really tastes as good. And for dinner, I was feeling very tired, and a little sick, so I decided just to sip a little sprite/pomegranate lemonade mixture with a little cup of vegetable broth.

Well, here's the latest pic of my progress, there's more pictures in my "Post Surgery Photos" Section on the right --->

Home

Sorry if this post is short or misspelled, I'm very tired and dizzy. So, according to the docs, the surgery went well. it was somewhat easy to talk the first half day after surgery, but now it's very very hard. It feels like there is only enough room in my mouth for my tongue. My face is puffy, sore, and at the same time numb. And my nose is crusted with blood.

I think I was lucky with my roommate. She was my voice when I didn't have one. When I needed help, and pressed the nurse call, the voice would answer "Yes?" I'd answer the best I could, but all my groans for "yeah" (I need help) sounded like "nah". and the nurse dispatcher would hang up on me. I'd press again and get an annoyed "Hello?" and my roommate to the rescue would yell "Get someone in here she can't talk!" My roommate was spending her 7th day in the hospital. I think she was having some problems with her eye, and sickle cell anemia, and needed oxygen. She and my mom would talk, and it was nice to listen to the stories while I drifted in and out of consciousness. Like escaping from Hurricane Katrina, starting a new life here in SA, her and my mom talking about their own families and children.

Anyway, it was nice to have her as a neighbor. :)

My mental state: The best it can be at the moment, I'm trying to keep my sense of humor intact, but I've wanted to cry a lot (it's my way of getting stress out) but I'm too afraid I'd make myself more swollen. I also feel I need to be as strong as I can for my sister, who will eventually need the surgery, too, but who hasn't wanted it for several months now.

Well, getting tired, talk to you all later, thanks so much for all the wishes, they made a huge difference waking up after surgery.

Here's my first recovery pic:

The Day of a Thousand Bites

Good-bye solid food. I will miss you.

Today was my last day, the mighty crunchfest ended about an hour ago (midnight). I enjoyed La Madeline pasta for lunch (I usually get the soup/half sandwhich deal, but I'm abstaining from any of the "S" trinity: Soup, Smoothie, ..ssslliquidfoods? That's my new word. yes. Sliquidfood.

Anyway, my mo-mo, dad, and adorable little brother clay came down and after much consideration, tex-mex was the cuisine of choice. [I personally felt like asian food, but this is a democracy, besides, I'm always happy with mexican food]

At dinner, there was much laughter and munching. My family was patient with me as I slowly chewed my way through the meal. (Just wait, if they think I eat slow now...) After dinner, everyone donated their left-over chalupas to the Feed the Kelley Fund. And I tried my best to gnaw through what was there before the clock ticked 12:00am.

What happens if you feed the Kelley after midnight? Who knows, but the doctors said so.

Oh wait... THIS might happen:
Yeah, that's not a good idea. Keep me away from water, too. I might multiply.

Anyway, so if I don't have the chance to post a few final words before surgery, you'll be hearing from my mo-mo over on her blog.
See you on the other side!!
-Kam

YAY Confirmation!!

I got the call - I'm approved by insurance for jaw surgery! However, insurance denied coverage for genioplasty. But that's ok, because I didn't really want it anyway.

I had a final visit to Leibold and Largent today. I wanted to firm up somethings and ask a few more questions before surgery.

ALL my anxieties are extinguished and I'm feeling great and ready for surgery.

Leibold said I was an excellent candidate for the neck liposuction and that, although subtle, it would give me an excellent final result. And personally, I'd be MUCH happier with that than genioplasty.

Also, since the lipo or genioplasty wouldn't be covered by insurance anyway, the lipo costs half as much and the genioplasty would. EVEN BETTER!
Now, since hospitals & insurance are jerks, they would charge for any hospital, anesthesia time, and surgery room time for a procedure not covered by insurance. So, it would be cheaper for me to go back, about 3 weeks later, to get the additional procedure done at the Dental school (where the surgery room & anesthesia is a small flat fee) than to get it done the same time as jaw surgery and the hospital charge by the minute. hundreds vrs. thousands? I think the choice is simple enough.

So, the family is coming in tomorrow, then 6 am Thursday it's off to Surgery-Land!

A big shout out to Lori who got her surgery yesterday! I hope everything went without a hitch, and hope she's healing well!
Also, Michelle, Rachel, and I have started a little recipe blog called Jaw Dropping Blends, it's still being put together at the moment, and I'll be starting on the header graphics soon. So, check it out!

the end to a stressfull day.

Incoming rant/thingy:

Yesterday at the splint fitting, Largent had mentioned not doing the genioplasty after all, I was relieved a little bit, because instead of a bigger chin, all I wanted was just a little more definition in my neck. He mentioned how I had a little excess tissue & fat in my neck and that they remove that "All the time" ("We do this all the time" is like their motto)
I was really happy, and my hopes were really high for a moment before they came back down.
"We'll just do the top jaw and if we decide to do the genioplasty or any kind of lipo, we can always do that another time"
Well. I feel very anxious that this is the only chance I'll ever get to get this right. Hospital stays and operating room cost a LOT. Almost as much as the surgery itself, so the chances that I can go back for anything is like, non-exsistant.

So, my mom says to call them and see if I can consult with them a little one more time.
Instead of sawing bone and moving my chin forward, I would be more satisfied keeping the chin I have, but with the extra tissue removed, I think it would give the illusion of a more defined jaw/neck line. Now, that isn't covered by insurance, but I'd be much more secure with it than different chin. If the cost is ridiculous than it won't happen, but if it costs as much as the genioplasty covered or cheaper, then I would like to go forward with it.


In OTHER news. The underside of my tongue feels a LOT better. Last night hurt like crazy, and it felt swollen, but after I woke up the next morning, it felt fine. It only hurts a little if I move my tongue to the other side of my mouth to try to pry food out my my braces or something, but otherwise, I'm good!
I made a mini-lasagna tonight. Yummy yummy! Mom would be proud (she makes the best lasagna)

Splint Fitting Day

Well, today was splint fitting day! I walked in to the office and was quickly seen by Dr. Largent, and he showed me were my teeth were going to be, but before he could fit the splint, he had to file down some of my teeth so that they would fit together properly after surgery. No biggie.

...right?

Well, other than a little bit of sensitivity here and there, and the smell of teeth smoke, it didn't hurt. That is, until he accidentally slipped at the very end and cut into the soft veiny underside of my tongue.

Then the floodgates opened.

Although I only let a couple tears pass in the office, I went to the restroom afterward and saw my mouth filled with blood. And burst out in tears. Like, not only blood was spilling from the cut in my mouth, but so were anxiety, fear, sadness, overwhelming grief. I was embarrassed that I was so upset, but it caught me off guard, and that hurt more than the pain.

I went to get a sonic slush afterward (Route 44 Lemon, no peel is my signature order) since it was happy hour (half off drinks). My mom must be psychic, because when I told her over the phone she said:
"Well, you should go to Sonic and get a slushie"
*sluuuurrrrrpp*
"Oh, haha, good you got one!"

But maybe when I was talking to her over the phone some of the anxiety spirits flew through the lines and got her, because I know this whole thing isn't easy for her ether. I love you, mo-mo, don't be sad :(

My fear

It's not the jaw surgery I'm most afraid of....

It's the chin.

At the consultation (yes, I've still got jitters from the last consultation) there was a little confusion toward the future of my chin. It's still pending whether they will do anything with my chin or not, and it's been "maybe", "we will bring it forward", "we will move it back". My poor heart, I don't think I can take it. It's less than two weeks before surgery, I don't want the chin thing to be decided to day of, the day before, or during surgery. I don't want to wake up with a chin I wasn't prepared for!
It's like the surgical hooks "more is good, but if not we'll get by" no, no, no... I just want a "YES genioplasy is necessary for an even appearance" or "NO it is not and you don't need it". No gray area, just a black or white answer.

jittery jittery jitters... aaaahh!! :P

Mo-Mo Weekend!

Today I had my pre-surgical work up. I had new models made, blood work done, and all the paperwork was signed and sealed. And who came to do it all with me? My mommy!
My mom, and littlest brother, Clay came to visit me sunday-tuesday, and the time flew by soooo quickly.
Mom was a huge help, making sure I had the essential post-surgery items, and everything I needed before surgery. (we even got matching pjs, so that I can heal in style with my mo-mo!) ;P

My brother insisted I get a little bell so I can ring when I need assistance (he's so cute), I got a mini-dry erase board so I can write/draw silly things at the hospital, we also got frozen juices, soups, and other things so that I can "eat". (The hunt still continues for the cold spa mask and I'll be adding Rachel's new best friend to my wish list) So, I think once the big day comes around on the 24th, I'll be ready!

The pre-op visit went pretty smoothly, but now I'm starting to think "did he forget this? or that? How will this affect surgery?"
Like, for example, the measurements. I know almost everyone had strange measuring devices attached to their heads on the pre-op work up.. but he didn't do that, although I thought he said he was.. so I hope he didn't forget.
Or, He made a comment on the number of surgical hooks my orthodontist put on me and said something like "I guess we'll get by with this" (As my brain is screaming "Wait!! I can go back to the ortho and get more hooks! Don't "just get by" aaahh!")
Also, I really was hoping to learn my blood type, since I couldn't donate blood to myself, and I wanted to know which parent would have to donate to me in case of emergency,but the hospital wasn't given the "fancy paperwork" and so now it's "something we'll figure out the day of surgery". Grr. I wanted to knoooow! :(

But, I'm sure everything will be fine, and I'm really happy my mom and clay were able to visit me before the surgery date. yay :)

I want to be Ironwoman!

I had a bad last week. I was supposed to donate blood so I would have extra in case I needed it for surgery, but my blood is border-line iron deficient, so they won't take my blood, otherwise it could make me anemic. So, I need to start taking some iron supplements so my blood can be nice and healthy!
My mo-mo (mom) has got my back, though. And she's there to support me, even with extra blood if I need it!

Also, last week, I had to reschedule my appointment that I would be getting my new SureSmile wires. That really made me nervous because I don't know if my teeth will have enough time to move where they need to be by the 8th (when the oral surgeons will be making my final casts). But my orthodontist, Dr. B, said they'll be where they need to by the 8th. I just hope.
I decided to experiment with colors for the first time too, I wanted something fun and whimsical before my surgery. So, this is my current look:
I actually like the colors more than I thought I would, they're just fun and different, and even though I like the clear, I kinda regret not trying the colors sooner.
He put different surgical hooks on me, too, these are silver, but I still have the dark, almost black, ones on my lower teeth, because he didn't give me a new wire on the lowers.
And for some reason, only my front teeth hurt, a lot, but not any of the back teeth, which are the ones that are supposed to be moving...

Before I go, I just want to give a biiiiig shout out to Michelle and Rachel. Michelle just celebrated her one-week post op anniversary and she's doing great! Rachel went to the hospital on wednesday, and I hope everything went on without a hitch! So, go visit their blogs and give them lots of support!!!

Surgery Wish List

Hey Ortho-blogees!
In preparation for surgery, I've decided to compose a list of post-surgery items I need or want and things I already have that I will use after surgery. This is inspired by my mom who wants me to make a list, and who calls Zip N Squeeze "Sippy Saks". Hehee.

Things I already have that will come in handy:

• "Hospital Tray"- I love this. Although it's a laptop cart, it's practically a hospital tray. It's perfect for drawing, (laptops of course), and reading in bed. I know this is going to be a huge asset for after-sugery recovery.
• Nintendo DS- This will definitely help the boredom factor. The only thing that saddens me, is that is will be very difficult to practice my French after surgery.
• Books, Puzzles, Computer- I've purchased a huge order of comic books off of Amazon.com, they've been slowly collecting on my shelves, and I've been trying to abstain until surgery is over... trying. :P I'm also a huge puzzle geek, and have got lots of puzzles (and puzzle games for the DS) to keep me entertained. Also, here's a warning: I'll probably be blogging a LOT after surgery.

My Wish List:

• "Sippy Saks"- I know Zip N Squeeze bags are huge on the jaw-surgery population. I do have a question though- I've heard a lot of people ordered them, but then their doctor game them some. Should I wait or just order them?
• Jaw Wraps & Spa Face Masks- These look so comfy and I'm not even in pain yet! On Michelle's Blog, she mentioned how her hospital uses the AqueCool device. Oh god. I wish my hospital uses something like that on me. I'm so jealous.
• Sonic Gift-Card- I have a feeling I'll be needing a lot of slushes. Although, there's this new "mom & pop" smoothie place that opened up near me, and I've never had jamba juice before, so this may be a good opportunity for me to experiment with slushies.
  

I'll probably add to this list as I get closer to surgery..

So, fellow blog-ees: What's on YOUR Wish-List?
~If you haven't had surgery yet, make a list on your blog about items that are on your wish-list.

~If you've had surgery already, discuss which items you couldn't have lived without, things that didn't make a huge difference, or things you wish you could have had then.

Jaw Surgery Dreams

Last night I had a dream that I just had my jaw surgery.
My chin was huge and deformed, and mouth was "wired" (aka banded) shut. For some reason I kept trying to open my mouth, or my teeth would come off the splint and wouldn't go back on it. All this time I kept thinking "Why do I keep trying to open my mouth!? Stop moving it!" Everything felt so tight and uncomfortable.

Even after I woke up my jaw was stiff and sore. *shiver*

It was such a weird dream.
(By the way, the picture on the right is a jaw bone dream catcher. I figured it was completely appropriate for today's post.)

So, my blogger buddies, have you had any dreams about braces, jaw surgery, or any upcoming event, for that matter, that went awry?

A little relief

I went to my orthodontist (Dr.B) today. I had a letter from Dr. Leibold to give him, plus I wanted to ask about my orthognathic situation.
He said my new SureSmile wires were coming in next Thursday, the 26th, and that he could fit them on me and the problem with my back teeth being too wide could be fixed by July 8th- the day when my surgical models need to be made.

I also asked him about my surgery. I told him I had a little anxiety because now I have this surgery date, but I really still don't know exactly what will be getting done. I'm just an extremely visual person, so if a surgeon just tells me "(insert medical jargon)" that doesn't help me understand what they're gonna do to me. I need to see pictures, I need to see before and after.
But Dr. B said not to worry, that they will have to work with my new surgical molds anyway, and they'll go more in-depth the closer we get to surgery.

For some reason, it really put me to ease, and I'm feeling a lot better.

He also told me that he heard Leibold's name mentioned on the Sports Radio the other night, that one Sportscaster is getting jaw surgery and Leibold is one doing it (or overseeing it). I think that's kinda cool, actually.

Just for Fun

Sometimes I'll play around in MS Paint. (That little paint program on practically every PC)
I know I could do much better in Photoshop, but I'm very lazy, and it takes about 30 minutes to book up my other comp with that program on it.

So, without further ado, I present the "MS Paint Jaw Surgery Predictions!!"


To see the picture better, you can click on them. And the "Before" is to the left, the "After" is on the right.


These "authentically fake" photos are of me after a very crude self-preformed LeFort II (even though I think I'll actually be getting LeFort I) and slight genioplasty.

Just a little fun thin I felt like doing, trying to get some kind of earthly idea of what they'll be doing to me in the near future.

It's go time.

July 24th.

Surgery day.

Although I've been incredibly eager to get the surgery done as soon as I can, the anxiety just set in and has hit me full force.

I went in for my 2nd pre-surgical evaluation. After waiting about an hour in the waiting area, I met with the doctors, Leibold & Largent. (The guys who will be doing the surgery on me). And then it was something like "Ok, we're gonna move your top jaw. ok. Let's move you to scheduling." I was a little put off because on one of the first appointments Largent had said something like 'to make it look right, we'll move both.' So, I opened my big mouth and asked about that, and Leibold said something like well, we can do a genioplasty (that involves cutting the chin and moving it forward with out moving the lower jaw.) "Yeah, let's do that."
And then THAT made me nervous. like.. if I hadn't said anything would they not do that, and would i have looked worse? Or, because I opened my big yap now they're gonna do something else and I'm going to look worse?!
And now my paranoid lil' brain is going crazy, I shouldn't have said anything or should I? I just want it to be done right... Ahh!!
I have faith in the doctors, but I guess it's just my first wave of pre-surgery jitters.

but July 24th.. WOAH.. That was MUCH sooner than I even hoped. That's really cool, but my paranoidness is just thinking "Is that enough time for the docs to do what they need to?" and a whole bunch of over-over analyzing. I'm just trying to re-psyche myself up for the surgery thinking "They know what is best" "The doctors know what they're doing" "You've got two fully qualified people watching over you, that's better than just having one surgeon!" Aaah, I can't wait.... I think! ;D

Aaarrr, matey! I've got hooks!

Good news, everyone!

I went to Dr.B's (the orthodontist) today. He took a long look at my teeth molds and said the problem that stood in the way of surgery could be easily fixed. Better yet, it can be done after the surgery. wee!!

He continued on to mention that when he was speaking to the surgeon last Wednesday he was talking about the wrong sister. Gee... that's nice... ;P But I figured as much when Dr. Leibold (the surgeon) kept asking if I had my SureSmile wires with a puzzling look.
Dr.B went ahead and but the surgical hooks on me today too. [on the weird topic of hooks.. image searches for "hooks" yield funny results: here. I'm not saying anything...]

He also ordered my second pair of SureSmile wires, they'll be here in 6 weeks.. Incredibly enough, he thinks I'll have surgery by then. I'm not that optimistic, but if it's possible I'm happy; if not.. I just wish he hadn't put the surgical hooks on just yet.. the one in the middle makes me look like David Letterman.. like I have a gap between my two front teeth (the hooks are black).

Oh well! All an' all, I'm pretty darned happy! :B

Dental Dissapointment

Well, I went to what I thought would be my final consultation for the surgery- where the doctor would tell me what and when all this jaw-stuff would be done and we'd get all the insurance stuff squared away... but apparently my top jaw is wider than the teeth on my bottom, so if they moved the jaws like they wanted to, it wouldn't line up so great.

SO

That means I'll have to get more orthodontic work before my surgery, when all this time I thought that all my teeth work was finished. And I've already have my SureSmile wires in, so I've got NO IDEA what this means for my surgery. It would take over a month to get new Sure Smile wires, if that is the plan, or if they take those out and put regular wires in it's like.. What was the whole point of doing ALL that work to get the SureSmile wires?

I was listening to the Doctor speak on the phone to my orthodontist. And I hear "Christmas break" and "Late Fall" and tears where coming to my eyes. I do not want to wait that long, and I also don't want to be a slobbering swollen mess alone, 4 hrs away from my family for Christmas. (Nor would I want to during Thanksgiving/my birthday).

I feel like my window of opportunity is disappearing.

But I hope hope hope hope that all this dental stuff works out so I can get surgery BEFORE the fall. Wish me luck!

Calm before the storm

Hello everyone!
This journal was inspired by other bloggers who have gone through what I will be going to go through in the near future- orthognathic surgery.
Wisdom teeth came out early June 2007 and I've had the braces on since August 2007. I've already had casts and x-rays prepping for my surgery, I go to the follow-up appointment early this June and the doctors are gonna tell me what they will be doing to my mouth and then square it all away with the insurance people. I expect (hopefully) to be on the operating table late June - early July.

So, I will keep you all posted!
Thanks for watching!